


It gets better.

by icarizu



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Depictions of depression, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I wrote this at three AM, M/M, Not Beta Read, One Shot, dont worry they cuddle in the end i guess, koga's depression, sorry koga
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:33:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25686610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icarizu/pseuds/icarizu
Summary: Rei visits Koga when he's at his worst.
Relationships: Oogami Kouga/Sakuma Rei
Comments: 1
Kudos: 37





	It gets better.

**Author's Note:**

> hello. i wrote this fic while not feeling very well, and i feel bad for letting it all out on koga. ;;; i only planned to explore koga's insecurities but that didn't work out very well and it ended up being. this.

...How long has it been?  
Koga’s too tired to check. He hasn’t even realized he’s been spacing out for some time now. All he could remember was that he was tired.  _ So tired _ . How much time has passed since he hit this very bed, exhausted and feeling like one move would send him crumbling away into nothing?

He could hear the shuffle of Leon’s footsteps as the door to his and Tatsumi’s shared dorm began to open. His instincts didn’t seem to work right now, as if he was forever stuck in this idle mode, unable to do anything and unable to react. If it was an intruder and he was about to die …

Well, who cares?  
  
Koga doesn’t move from his spot, blank eyes staring up at the ceiling. He can’t be bothered to look at whoever entered their living space. If it was Tatsumi, he would’ve heard a greeting by now. But since there wasn’t, he only assumed it was somebody else. And he was going to cease to exist. And the bad part was that he could care less.   
Eventually he feels a weight on the side of his bed. He looks at that part of the bed, ready to meet his potential killer and tell them a few words. Maybe to make sure Leon goes to a good home. He even considers thanking that person for doing the job for him. It would be much easier that way.

It wasn’t a stranger, to his disappointment.

It was that prick Rei Sakuma. 

_ Get out of here. You’re the last person I want to see. _

...was what he wanted to say, but that didn’t come out as expected. Instead, Koga just turns the opposite way, shaking his head to say  _ ‘no’ _ .

But Rei was persistent, and Koga absolutely hated how Rei thought he was always some tough shit who was allowed to meddle with everyone’s personal affairs and fix it with a wave of his stupid fucking hands. He was just so tired. And he didn’t want anybody around him. Not Tatsumi, and especially not Rei. He didn’t want to be anywhere near his former idol. Not when he was looking like this. Not when he looks like he hasn’t slept in days. Not when he’s not the badass wolf he always claimed to be. Not when he felt like nothing he ever did or will ever do will be enough for this godforsaken world. Not when he just wanted to  _ leave _ and never return.

“I know it’s supposed to be your rest day, Koga,” Rei begins, his voice somber and strangely urgent. “But we need to talk.”

“Talk? About what. Not like anything’s wrong.” His voice muffled, Koga shifts in his position, moving his head to face Rei.

“We need to talk about you.”

And all of a sudden Koga shuts down.

“Talk…about me? Why. I didn’t do anything wrong, did I?” he says, yet he’s doubting his words. Maybe he  _ did _ do something wrong to piss Rei off. Maybe he  _ did _ something to piss Undead or Rhythm Link off. Were they kicking him out? Were they getting rid of him?

_ Please, God, just get it over with. _

“No, no. It’s not like that. We’re simply...worried. You haven’t been answering our calls. It’s been days now, Koga. And Tatsumi says he hasn’t seen you this down before. And it looks like you’re not the only one you’re neglecting…”

Rei’s eyes move to Leon’s empty food bowl. Leon stands there, beady eyes staring back at Rei. Rei forces a smile, as if to tell the corgi that everything was okay.

“Ah, shit. I completely forgot. Did Kazehaya-senpai — ”

Rei cuts him off mid-sentence.

“He fed Leon. Don’t worry. I recall him telling me you were asleep earlier…but that doesn’t matter now. You need to talk to me about…” Rei gestures to Koga. “...this.”

“What’s there to talk about? I can’t explain jack shit. I don’t even understand why I’m bein’ like this.” Koga answers, turning his head again to face Rei, and it seems like he’s looking for something to hold close, so he only curls into a ball, holding onto himself.

“You can start with why you’ve been so exhausted all this time.”

Koga shakes his head as a negation.

“I don’t  _ know _ , okay? If I knew why I was actin’ like this maybe I would’ve done somethin’ about it by now, don’t you think?!”

Ah...he accidentally raised his voice. Rei stares at him, unaffected, luckily.  
Then Koga’s voice becomes just as somber as Rei’s.

"...I’m just tired, Sakuma-senpai. _I’m_ _so_ _tired_. I’m tired of having to wake up. I’m tired of doing so much as existing. I’m tired of being...like this,” He then lets out a shaky breath, pulling his knees close to him. “ _I’m tired_.”

Rei is silent.

Then he falls onto the same bed Koga laid, facing Koga directly. They spend some time there, just staring at each other, letting their gazes speak for themselves. The silence was strangely comfortable for Koga. He didn’t need another shitty monologue about how he should be more grateful about the life he was given. And he sure as hell didn’t need a lecture about how he’s a lucky person and how others had it worse. He’s heard that bullshit line far too many times now. And each time he just wished he could leave quicker. 

He just needed someone here to listen. And Rei was doing a good job, surprisingly.

“Do you...want me here, Sakuma-senpai?”

“Of course I do. There’s nobody who could replace you, my dear.”

"Then why does it feel like I should just vanish?”

“Koga. I want you here. Kaoru, Adonis, the twins...they want you here. Nothing could replace the great Koga Oogami. Even if he lost that light in him, we would always want him here. Because there’s only one Koga Oogami. And that’s you.”

Silence.

And before he knows it, Koga’s already crying. His eyes stung. He hasn’t cried much during this slump of his. In fact, he rarely ever cries. So why now…? Was it because he heard those words come from somebody else and not himself desperately trying to pull himself up?   
Koga doesn’t know. But the arms wrapping around him was enough to make him warm. He hears gentle shushing, and a steady, smooth heartbeat, which he focuses on for the time being.

“Do you want me to stay?”

Koga holds onto Rei. Tighter. Tighter.  _ Tighter _ . Until he’s sure that Rei wouldn’t leave his grasp. Rei doesn’t seem to mind, instead pulling Koga even closer to him. And they sit there, in silence, comfortable only with each other’s presence.

“...Yeah. Stay. Please.”

And Koga thinks …

_ Maybe it gets better. _

_ Not now. Not tomorrow. Not two days from now. Hell, maybe not even a year from now. _

But he’s clinging onto that hope.

_ It will get better. _

**_It will get better._ **

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on twitter! let's talk! 
> 
> twt: @SIANREAPER


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